The past few weeks, Andrew and I have been getting settled in our new home in Paducah, Kentucky, my hometown.
We (finally) permanently relocated here from Boston after three years of going back and forth.
I’m thrilled.
We’re unpacking, gardening, and setting up his new gym (7th Street Wellness Club coming in 2026!).
And I have tons of old memories pouring in from growing up here in the 80s.
Enter: the Rocket Slide
The Noble Park Funland Rocket Slide
A quick Google search for Funland brought back vivid, visceral memories of riding a tiny rollercoaster and going swimming at the city pool.
I also remember…the Rocket Slide.
Yep, I found a photo of that, too:
I actually don’t remember the slide as much as I do coming off the slide.
Notice the angle on that bad boy?
It’s 30 degrees down and faster than any 8-year-old is prepared for.
My core memory is knocking the wind out of myself so hard that lying in the dirt and desperately, ineffectively gasping for air was my only option.
Apparently, this wasn’t a unique experience, either.
In my Google search for these images, I read accounts from other millennials who also recalled the perils of the Rocket Slide.
No amount of preparation made a difference—the Rocket Slide meant chancing it and maybe ending the day getting carried off the playground by your dad.
A quick review of funnels
Let’s pause the 80s nostalgia to talk marketing.
If you’re not familiar with a funnel, it’s the process you create for potential or current clients to get them where you want them to go in their customer journey.
The most famous funnel is the new contact funnel, where your marketing attracts a potential client and, if all goes well, they sign up to get on your contact list and you lead them to becoming a paying client (at which point they enter a sales funnel).
There are tons of different funnels…product launch funnels, tripwire funnels, webinar funnels.
Just think of funnels as a series of steps you thoughtfully provide your clients so they can keep engaging with you.
The word “funnel” is perfect because you want this process to be effortless and smooth, with a focused goal in mind, akin to using a funnel to seamlessly pour liquid from one container to another.
Or gently sliding from the top of a slide down to the bottom—exciting, fun, and something you want to do over and over.
What you don’t want is to launch your clients down the Rocket Slide of Death™ and leave them breathless and abandoned at the bottom.
The shockingly common Rocket Slide Funnel Model
One of the most common mistakes we see business owners make can be described by what I like to call the Rocket Slide Funnel Model.
You get a new lead. (Score!)
You send them their lead magnet. (Yes!)
That’s it.
Or…you sell a group program. (Woohoo!)
And then nothing else happens.
Your new contact or customer just experienced the metaphorical equivalent of the Rocket Slide—they went from point A to point B at breakneck speed and are now trying to catch their breath at the bottom, wondering what comes next.
Or worse yet, they forget about you and your business completely for the flashier rides at Funland.
Either way, this does not bode well for your business.
So, what do you do instead?
Building funnels that don’t knock the breath out of your clients
Ideally, you create a series of obvious, compelling steps that lead clients where you want them to go.
After you deliver their lead magnet, you follow up with a few emails providing them with excellent tips to solve their problem and a CTA to book a free call with you.
After they join your group program, you stay in touch with them about how the program is going, the most common pitfalls group members face, and a CTA to get 1-on-1 consulting.
You methodically keep them engaged and taking the next step with calls to action that are so perfect, saying yes is a no-brainer.
Get them off the Rocket Slide and into a fun, easy-to-follow funnel.
Funnel overwhelm and how to overcome it
The reality is that most business owners fall back on the Rocket Slide funnel because they feel overwhelmed.
Admittedly, funnel building can get complicated.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Some of the most successful funnels—ones with high conversion and delighted clients—are simple to create.
If you suspect your funnels are of the Rocket Slide variety, book a free call with us, and we can check it out together.
In just 20 minutes, we can ID your biggest funnel pitfalls and provide some quick tips on what to do instead.
